


Untold Secrets

by IAmProudOfUs



Series: The Consort [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Castiel has flashacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Gabriel, M/M, Self-Worth Issues, and breaks down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-02-28 21:58:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2748611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmProudOfUs/pseuds/IAmProudOfUs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have been together over two and half years and he hasn't told Dean everything about his past. That all changes though when he has a flashback to when he was back on earth, before he became a priest. He has a break down and Dean is there to put him back together. After Cas calms down everything is back to normal, that is until they go back to the babies and find Sam and Gabe in a heavy makeout session. Cas is upset, but Dean is outraged and acts out of white hot anger. That's when Sam steps in to save Gabe because he knows what Dean is capable of and that Gabe won't fight back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untold Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> We don't own anything aside from our grammatical mistakes.
> 
> This story was written by role playing so please excuse the weird flow of the story.
> 
> Our Instagram usernames are @assbutt_impala67 and @Supermarvelocked feel free to go and follow us and help get our story out there!
> 
> Let us know what you think in the comments, but please keep them kind we appreciate critiques and feedback, but not mean or rude comments. Thank you! Enjoy!

It's been eight months since the babies were born and everything has been going very well. The babies are healthy and Cas was well rested though he still wasn't back in shape because he was lactating which meant he had breasts and he had no idea how to work out with breasts so he just put it aside until the babies were on solid food. Right now Dean was sitting in the nursery with Mary in front of him. She was speaking gibberish as she showed Dean a little stuffed bee she had. Dean smiled and nodded, watching her continuing to play with the toy. Dean glanced over and saw sam sitting on the other side of the room playing with some soft blocks, "Hi Sammy." He waved at him, wanting to see his reaction. 

Cas was taking a nap in their bedroom having had a long night with the babies crying and waking them up so he was catching up on sleep. Sammy was building a tower, or a tower by baby standards and when Dean called him he turned his head and smiled. He turned back around and grabbed the first block he saw and threw it over to Dean, obviously not making it, but he was giggling and laughing as it bounced to a stop. 

Dean smiled and watched Sam, "That's funny, huh?" He laughed along with the baby, finding it funny that he found such odd things funny, "You're a funny little guy." He was still watching Sam though he could tell Mary was trying to show him something. 

Sammy laughed then went back to building his tower breaking it and starting over again. Mary was trying to get Dean to pay attention to her and ended up throwing her bee pushy at him hitting his face which made her laugh and giggle because she hit what she was aiming for. 

Dean turned back to Mary, "Is that funny? Hitting daddy in the face is funny?" He grabbed the bee and handed it back to her, unsure if she would throw it again. 

Mary kept smiling and giggling and when Dean handed her the bee she grabbed it and hugged it to herself then crawled over and sat in his lap playing with the plushy making silly noises and hitting Dean against his stomach with it, thought it wasn't actually hard. She was having fun and just playing with her bee. Sammy had finished playing with his blocks and saw Dean's tail flicking around while he played with Mary and looked at it curiously. He started crawling towards it slowly while Mary threw her toy up at Dean hitting his chin and then it fell back down and landed on her head before it bounced off and in front of Dean. She laughed and giggled again looking up at Dean happy. 

Dean laughed and watched Mary, "Do you like your bee? Daddy likes bees too, and maybe the bees will be nice to you." He wrapped his arms around Mary's waist to keep her from falling back and hitting her head which it looked like she was going to do any second. 

Mary smiled and started reaching for her bee wanting it again, but Dean's hands were keeping her from it. She looked back at Dean and pointed at the bee before she tried again to grab it. Sammy on the other hand was behind Dean trying to grab his tail, but he kept missing, not even touching it. He was a little frustrated because he wanted it, but he saw where it ended and smiled and started crawling closer to Dean where it would be easier to grab it. 

Dean reached over and grabbed the bee then handed it to her, "No more throwing." He said, looking her right in the eyes, "No more." He leaned down and kissed her then smiled at her. 

Mary hummed happily and hugged the bee to herself then cuddled up to Dean and started falling asleep, it was almost time for her nap and she was getting sleepy. Sam had finally made it to the base of Deans tail and watched it for a moment before he smiled and lunged at it wrapping his arms and legs around it giggling and laughing as he started inching himself up it to the tip grabbing it and laughing because it was moving then took the tip and stuck it in his mouth sucking it like a pacifier as he felt it and explored it curiously. 

Dean's eyes widened and he snapped around, glaring at sam, "No!" He scolded, trying to move his tail away. He slowly felt his cock growing and he knew it was wrong on so many levels to get hard from your year old son. 

Sam immediately stopped what he was doing and let go of Dean's tail looking at Dean afraid and started crying. He didn't know he wasn't supposed to touch Dean's tail and when Dean glared at him and scolded him it scared little Sammy. Mary heard Dean's harsh voice and woke up and started whimpering and crying a little because he had frightened her awake. She held her bee and cried while Sammy cried unable to do anything else because he knew he made his daddy angry. 

Dean sighed and his expression softened, "Shh, Sammy I'm sorry." He picked him up and held him close to his chest, "I'm sorry, daddy was being mean." Dean reached down and rubbed Mary's back letting her know that she was okay, "Don't cry, little ones, I'm sorry." He kissed Sam's cheek and kept him held close to his chest. 

Sammy kept crying against Dean, but eventually calmed down and when he calmed down so did Mary. She stopped crying and went back to sleeping. Sammy looked up at Dean sniffling and started falling asleep, he was tired too, they both needed to be put down for a nap. 

Dean stood up, holding both babies In his arms. He walked over and layed Sam down then tucked him in and kissed his forehead. He made sure to close the crib the went and put Mary down, making sure her bee was tucked in next to her while she slept. The babies slept peacefully and as soon as they were asleep started dreaming. 

In the other room Cas had woken up and was incredibly disoriented and felt panicked because Dean wasn't there and neither were the babies. He scrambled to get out of the bed and ended up tangling his legs in the blankets and fell off with a loud thud and groaned as he laid there, half on the bed and half on the floor. He just stayed there until the pain subsided. 

Dean heard the thump and slowly moved to the room. He saw Cas and chuckled, "Morning." He tried keeping in his laughter as he walked over and helped Cas back onto the bed. 

Cas groaned and just stayed in bed, "Maybe I shouldn't get up today." Cas said groggily, he didn't even feel all that well. His body ached and he could hear his congestion, "I think I'm getting sick." Cas said, then sneezed into the blankets. He groaned and looked down, "Ew." He deadpanned seeing the snot and balling the blanket up and throwing it to the side of the bed, "Definitely sick." Cas said then looked at Dean, "The babies can't breastfeed while I'm sick." Cas said then groaned as he felt sinus pressure, "We need a pump so they can still have the milk, but from a bottle. You'll have to feed them until I get better." Cas said then sneezed again then groaned, "I miss them already." Cas said mournfully, he was tired and sick and a little emotional cause he woke up sick and he was planning on going to the babies after he had taken a shower, they would need to feed anyway, but now he couldn't. 

Dean sighed and held onto him, "It's okay, I'll take care of 'em." He kissed Cas' forehead, "Promise you'll get better soon." He comforted him, pulling another blanket up onto him so he wasn't cold. 

Cas sighed and leaned against Dean and into his touch because he was warm and comforting, "I'll try my best to get better." Cas said softly nuzzled him then curling under the blankets so he could get warmer, "Could you go get the pumps?" Cas asked, they needed to milk his breasts for the babies and put them in bottles so the babies could feed when they woke up. Getting the milk was priority one. 

Dean got up and went to the nursery to get the bottles and pump. He walked back to Cas and handed it to him, "They're still sound asleep, but I'll make sure to feed them when they wake up." He said, sitting down on the bed again. 

Cas smiled and got close to Dean then took his shirt off to reveal two full breasts and blushed a little bit as he set up the pumps and bottles. He got everything ready then attached them to his nipples and let the pumps do their thing. He just reached for Dean's hand while it was going on to keep his mind off of the noises and the feelings. It felt really nice to have his breasts pumped because it was relieving pressure in them, but he was a little embarrassed because he was a man and he wasn't supposed to have breasts. He sighed and relaxed as he held Dean's hand. 

Dean held his hand and kissed Cas' cheek. He could tell Cas was embarrassed, but he didn't mind because he couldn't control if he has breasts and he knew he'd be back to his old self soon enough. 

Cas offered Dean a small smile and nuzzled his neck gently as he waited. After a minute one bottle was full and Cas unhooked it from the pump and closed the bottle then took the pump off the one breast. He smiled at Dean then did the same to other breast making sure to leave the spilled milk all over his nipples. He wasn't horny, but he still knew it was intimate when Dean suckled on his nipple and he wanted that again, he made sure all the food for the babies was stored then set it aside on the bedside table, it would stay warm for a while, at last long enough for the babies to need it then he looked at Dean and kissed him softly, "Care to clean up my mess?" He asked with a smile as he looked into Dean's eyes. He was still blushing, but he like it when Dean suckled from him, even if it was just the feeling. 

Dean smirked and rolled over closer to Cas. He took one of his nipples in his mouth and slid his tongue around, cleaning it off. He moaned and pulled off then moved to the other. This time sucking on it and teasing it. 

Cas' breath hitched and he moaned quietly, "D-Dean." He said and laced his fingers through Dean's hair. He didn't realize it, but he had a hard on almost the moment Dean started cleaning his nipples and when he started to tease him it was inevitable that he was going to need to cum. His hips jerked a little bit, but he stopped them in favor of laying back and spreading his legs while he maneuvered Dean to lay in between his legs and suck on his breasts while he ground his hips and cock against Dean. 

Dean kept sucking on his nipples. He reached his hand around and undid cas' pants and slowly rubbed him as he sucked harder. 

Cas moaned and ground his hips up into Dean's hand as he panted and threw his head back, "Fuck Dean." Cas whimpered as he started to thrust his hips and start a slow rhythm. 

Dean moaned tasting a bit if milk in his mouth. He rubbed a bit faster, wanting Cas to cum faster than normal. He moved over to his other nipple and gave it attention as well, licking and sucking it so he could taste his milk. 

Cas whimpered and moaned when Dean started stroking him faster and sucked on his other nipple, he was already close to the edge and couldn't handle much more, "Dean." Cas moaned out as he kept thrusting up and after a few more strokes came all over Dean's hand and his own stomach. He immediately tensed and threw his head back and cried out Dean's name as his rhythm stuttered and slowly stopped once the high passed. Cas was panting and laying still completely relaxed and reached his hand up to Dean's hair and gently stroked his finger through it, "I love you." Cas said as he panted and closed his eyes trying to catch his breath. 

Dean sat up and moved over to lay beside him, "Love you too." He placed a kiss on his cheek, "So much." He cleaned off his hand then pulled Cas close so he could spoon with him. He made sure to keep his ears open for his babies just in case they woke up. 

Cas smiled and leaned relaxed against Dean, "Do you want me to return the favor?" Cas asked softly, he might be sick, but it was child's play for Cas to get him off and he knew Dean knew that. 

Dean kissed his neck, "Only if you want to, I gotta listen for the babies." He rubbed Cas' arm. He honestly didn't care if he came, he wasn't hard and even if he was he could make it deflate quickly. He continued to hold Cas close as he let him decide what he wanted to do. 

Cas smiled and yawned, "Maybe later, the children are going to wake up soon because they need to be fed." Cas said and as if on cue the babies started crying loud enough the Cas could hear them. It broke Cas' heart that he couldn't be there for them, but he didn't want to take a chance and get them sick, half demon or not they could still get sick because they were part human as well. 

The second Dean heard them crying he jumped up and grabbed the bottles. He kissed Cas on the forehead went into the nursery. He picked up Sam first and set Mary's bottle down as he fed Sammy. He looked into the crib at Mary and shushed her softly as he continued to bounce and feed sam, "It's okay baby girl, daddy will feed you soon. Just wait." He said smiling down at her. 

Cas leaned into Dean's touch and watched as he left. He wanted to be with his children, he wanted to hold his children, comfort them. He sighed and laid in bed hoping they would calm down soon. 

Mary saw Dean and raised her arms fussing wanting to be held and fed, but it wasn't full on crying because she understood that she was going to be fed soon. 

Cas heard the babies calm down and sighed as a tear fell down his cheek, "Daddy's there." He said softly, his parental instincts were killing him because he knew he needed to be with his children, but he also knew they could get sick from him and that might be serious because they don't have a very strong immune system. Cas just laid there curled under the blankets waiting for Dean to return to let him know that everything was okay. 

Dean frowned and looked down at Mary, "I know, you want to be fed. Sam's almost done, it's okay." He looked at sam who was just about finished his bottle. Not long after Sam let go of the bottle and fussed a bit. Dean knew the baby had gas to he held him up and burped him before setting him back down in his bed, grabbing the full bottle and picking up Mary to feed her. 

Mary stopped fussing and relaxed in Dean's arms and held the bottle with her tiny hands as she started feeding. She was hungry, but more so she wanted to be held, she wanted to be with her daddy. After a while she finished the bottle and yawned looking up at Dean and smiling reaching for his face, not that she could actually touch it, but she just noticed his hair and wanted to explore it. Cas was in bed in his room slowly falling asleep, but he didn't want to, he wanted to wait for Dean to get back, he needed to wait for Dean to get back, but eventually his tiredness overcame him and he fell asleep due to the strain of being sick. He was snoring lightly and on his side his mouth hanging open and drooling on the pillow a little. 

Dean set the bottle down and moved Mary closer to his face, wondering why she was reaching her hands up. He looked at her slightly puzzled, "What is it baby? What do you want?" He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. 

Mary smiled at Dean and reached up touching his hair. She cooed at it and grabbed it gently then let it go. She was mesmerized by it and wanted to keep petting it and playing with it. Both Cas and Dean had noticed Mary was the more gentle of the twins and was more likely to snuggle up to you than to rough house unlike Sammy who loved to play hard. Mary smiled and giggle a little at the hair pressing it down then watching it rise back up, the volume of Dean's hair was a very entertaining thing to her. She wasn't making much noise aside from giggling a little and cooing at it. 

Dean chuckled, "You like daddy's hair?" He smiled, brushing his thumb over her cheek as he held her to his chest, "You'll have beautiful hair one day too." He leaned down and placed a small kiss on her little tiny lips. 

Mary giggled and then hiccuped and smiled at Dean. She kept playing with his hair gently experimenting with it and tugging on it lightly, she was very curious about it, but she was also quite sleepy and yawned again. Cas in the other room was starting to get cold without Dean, he had the blanket, but Dean was natural a higher body temperature and Cas seemed to get cold easily. He curled into the blankets more trying to warm himself up in his sleep. 

Dean could tell Mary was growing sleepy and gently rocked her. He was softly singing 'Hey Jude' to her since his mother did that for him and it always put him to sleep. 

Mary yawned and curled towards Dean falling asleep fairly quickly in his arms. In the other room Cas was trembling slightly and slowly started waking up because he was so cold. It was mainly due to his sickness that he was getting much colder without Dean, but even when Cas is healthy he still has trouble staying asleep without Dean. 

Dean laid Mary in her crib, making sure to swaddle her in her blankets so she didn't get cold. He tucked her bee in beside her then went back to his room. He layed down beside Cas and pulled him close. He could feel him shivering and held him even closer, pulling the blanket tighter around them, hoping to warm Castiel up. 

Cas groaned and turned around curling into Dean and getting as close to him as possible. Cas felt like he was freezing and Dean felt so warm and cozy like a fire, "Mmmm, warm." He mumbled half asleep and slowly drifted back to a peaceful sleep in the warm safety of Deans arms. 

Dean kept his arms tightly around Cas and ran his hand through his hair. He sang softly knowing that cas loved his voice and it would hopefully help him sleep better. 

Cas relaxed while Dean sang and nuzzled his chest in his sleep. He loved Dean's singing, just like his tail it was a pacifier and nothing could change that. As Cas slept he wrapped his arms around Dean sleepily and held him close, he didn't want Dean to leave him while he was asleep. 

Dean finished the song and just layed there with his eyes closed. He just held onto Cas and let him sleep not matter how long it would be he would just lay there until Cas woke up. The only that would make him get up was if his babies started crying. 

Cas only slept for a few hours and when he did wake up he felt even worse, "Ugh, Dean." Cas groaned as he opened his eyes and took a moment to focus them. He felt dizzy and nauseous and slowly sat up, "I'm gonna puke." Cas said as he quickly got up and ran to the bathroom and started puking his guts out. Whatever he was sick with it sucked and he hated it, puking was something that Cas hated and he knew Dean didn't like the sound of him puking. He may suck it up, but Cas knew deep down that Dean couldn't stand the sound of someone puking and with good reason, it was such a miserable sound. 

Dean closed his eyes and tried to drown out the sound with his thoughts, though it didn't work. He sighed and got up, "Need anything, baby?" He asked, wincing at the sound of Cas puking. 

Cas had tears falling down his face as he puked, it was just a natural reaction when he vomited, "No." Cas said weakly knowing Dean would hear him. He knew Dean hated the sound of someone puking and didn't want him to have to deal with this. After a while he finished and rested his face on the toilet seat, his session ending with a little bit of dry heaving after he vomited all the contents of his stomach up. He coughed and spat then groaned, "I'm sorry." He said, once again weakly, he didn't want Dean to be worried about him and he knew this wasn't something Dean liked to deal with. 

Dean sighed and leaned against the doorframe, "Don't be sorry, you can't help it." He explained, "Want me to get Gabe to come check you out?" He asked, running his hands through his already messy hair. 

Cas groaned and nodded, "Please." Cas said feeling miserable, he knew Gabe could heal him up in an instant, but he sometime wanted to remember what it felt like to be human. This however was not one of those times, he didn't want to feel how mortal he was. Cas wanted nothing more than to feel better and hold his children in his arms. 

Dean nodded, "Okay, I'll be back shortly." He walked out the door and headed to Sam's room. Upon reaching his door, he knocked fairly loud, he needed to gain their attention. He knew Gabe and he knew he'd be more than happy to help Cas with his illness. 

Sam was resting in bed and didn't bother to get up or even listen to Dean's knocking, he knew it was Dean and he knew Gabe could take care of it. Gabe was just running his fingers through Sam's hair and when Dean knocked and he kissed Sam's head gently before he walked over to the door and opened it. He didn't even think about what he was wearing, just a pair of red silk boxers with winged dicks all over it. He saw Dean and smiled, "Hey there Dean-o, where's big daddy Cas?" He asked smiling, Sam heard and couldn't help but smile at his teasing, Gabe and his nicknames. Cas was in the bathroom at the moment wheezing trying not to dry heave anymore. 

Deans eyed scanned over Gabe then he looked at him with a slightly confused glance, "What's with the boxers?" He laughed then changed the subject, "Big daddy Cas." He said quoting Gabe, "Is in the bathroom throwing up his stomach." He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, "Can you help him?" He asked, looking down at Gabe. 

Gabe looked down and chuckled seeing his boxers then looked back up to Dean, "Of course I can help him." Gabe said and started walking off to Dean's room, not caring about the fact that he's wearing boxers. He ended up in Dean's room and walked to the bathroom. He was about to walk in, but decided to knock, better not intrude on someone who's sick. He knocked and Cas groaned, "Come in." He said weakly and Gabe frowned, Cas definitely sounded sick. He walked in and Cas looked up at Gabe. He didn't say anything he just closed his eyes and sighed keeping all his energy on not dry heaving all over again. Gabe sighed and walked over crouching down and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Just relax, you'll feel better in a second." Gabe said and Cas did his best to nod. After, Gabe used his grace to heal Cas, a blue light shining from where his hand was as it surged through him. It was so warm inside Cas and it made him sigh in relief as his nausea went away as did all his discomfort. He felt better than he had in years and he couldn't help but smile. Gabe retracted his grace and stood, helping Cas to his feet and over to the bed, "You'll be fine, just rest for a little bit and in about an hour you'll be right as rain." Gabe said as Cas sat down, "Thanks Gabe." Cas said smiling up at him, "Don't thank me, just make sure you sate that demon of yours." Gabe said and winked at him which made Cas blush, he didn't mind Gabe's teasing, but he never talked about his sex life with him either, "I'll do my best." Cas said bashfully which made Gabe chuckle, "I know you will." He teased and winked at Cas which made Cas relax cause he knew Gabe always meant well and wasn't cruel, "Do you want me to keep an eye on the little ones while you and Dean relax for a while?" He asked kindly, he knew that they have been so buys with the babies and even though he might have been healed from the sickness he might want to rest a little bit longer than he would be able to. 

Dean walked into the room and leaned against the wall, "Thanks Gabe." He nodded to him. He heard Gabe ask if they wanted him to watch the kids and he looked over at Cas, "Your decision, baby." He said, glancing back at Gabe and waiting for Cas' answer. 

Cas nodded, "Go ahead, I just want to rest for now." He said and Gabe nodded then left, "I'll make sure they are well looked after." He said then walked off to tell Sam before he went to the babies. Cas smiled and laid down on the bed and looked to Dean, "Hold me?" Cas asked shyly a slight blush at the straightforward request. 

Dean smiled and laid in bed beside Cas, "Of course." He wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead, "Did you notice gabes boxers?" Dean asked, still slightly confused about those. 

Cas leaned into Dean and snuggled close to him, "I did, but I didn't get a chance to say anything about it." Cas said thinking about the small winged penises, "Guess Gabe loved cock." Cas said chuckling at the joke. 

Dean chuckled as well and ran his hand in Cas' hair, "Never thought someone would say that about an Angel." He gently kissed Cas, "But no one would think that a preacher would have told a male demon that he loved his cock." He winked to Cas. 

Cas blushed a little bright, "I wouldn't want to lie." Cas said then looked up to Dean and rolled over so he was straddling him and pressed against his chest as he kissed him softly, "I want to please my master." Cas said softly, then nuzzled Deans neck, "I always want to please you master." Cas said lowly kissing Deans neck. He was just teasing him and felt very affectionate at the moment. Cas just felt like he wanted to worship Dean and Dean's body like they were the only two things he cared about. 

Dean smiled and wrapped his arms around Cas. He leaned his head back and bit his lip, "You're a good boy." He said softly as he held Cas flush against his chest. 

Cas hummed and continued to kiss Dean's neck all over and nuzzle it, "Only for my master." Cas said softly, he wasn't horny, and he didn't want to make Dean horny. It was a different feeling for him right now, he just wanted to please Dean with everything, not just sex. Cas smiled against Dean's neck and hummed, "Would you like a massage master?" Cas asked softly, he had never given Dean a massage before, but Cas knew Dean would love it. He had been trained before he became a priest, it was a way he made money sometimes, but it was rare. Cas was rusty, but he knew he could massage Dean and make him one hundred percent relaxed, especially since he had the time cause Gabe was watching the babes. 

Dean had his hands up the back of cas' shirt and he was gently rubbing his back, "If you want to." He shrugged, he'd never had a massage and he wasn't planning on ever having one but if Cas was going to offer he'd be more than happy to accept. 

Cas smiled and pulled away from Dean, "I do want to." Cas said and kissed Dean's cheek, "Only for you." Cas said and got off Dean going to the bathroom to grab a couple things, "I need you to strip and lay on your stomach." Cas said as he grabbed the things he needed. 

Dean got up and took off his shirt and pants then layed on his stomach on the bed. He wasn't sure what to expect but he was quite interested to feel Cas' hands rubbing all over and relaxing him completely. Cas grabbed the things he needed then walked out and smiled, "Beautiful." He said softly as he walked over and got on the bed. He straddled Dean's hips and sat down gently keeping away from his tail so he didn't accidentally arouse Dean, "You're so beautiful Dean, you deserve the utmost praises." Cas said and leaned down kissing Dean's neck and shoulders trailing down to his shoulder blades, "I'm so lucky to have unrestricted access to you." Cas hummed and grabbed the bottle pouring some of the contents onto Dean's back letting it warm up before he started to work it into Dean's skin, "I could worship you for the rest of my life and it still wouldn't be enough to express how perfect you are." Cas said softly as he massaged Dean's back starting with his upper back working up to his shoulders, "So much power, so much strength." Cas revered, "But you're so gentle and kind." He added, he spoke softly, almost reverently, as he told Dean how he genuinely felt about his body, what he thought of his power. 

Dean closed his eyes and sighed deeply, "I love you." He told cas, humming contently, "That's why I'm so good to you." He told him as he let out a soft moan for so much pressure being released. 

Cas smiled and continued to work Dean's upper back and shoulders, "I love you too Dean. I don't deserve it, but I'm too selfish to let anyone else have it." Cas said as he moved down to Dean's lower back sitting back on Dean's butt, but making sure to move his tail gently so he didn't arouse Dean, "Why me?" Cas asked softly, more to himself than Dean, while working out all the kinks in Dean's back and the knots that were there, "I need to do this more often for you, you have so much stress as the King and I get to worship your majesty as much as I want." Cas said and leaned down to nuzzle in between Dean's shoulder blades while pressing his weight onto Dean's back as he worked out a particularly tight knot, "You're my King and you deserve to be lavished with pleasure." Cas said softly, slightly teasing, but he was serious as well, though he wanted to be the only one who would give Dean pleasure, any pleasure at all. 

Dean groaned feeling Cas' weight on his back, "You're amazing." He breathed out, getting lost in all the pleasure, "You're so good to me." He moaned softly and bit his lip. 

Cas smiled and continued to work on Dean's back, "You're such a kind master, why wouldn't I want to be good to you?" Cas asked and started working Dean's entire back making sure he didn't miss anything. He wanted to make sure all the knots were out so he could turn Dean over and work on his chest and lavish him in even more kisses and praise. 

Dean was relaxing more and more, "I don't know, cause I'm a jerk sometimes." He yawned for the first time in a while and moved a pillow under his head. 

Cas frowned and shook his head then kissed Dean's back, "You're not a jerk, you're a wonderful kind father and husband." Cas said softly, "Perhaps you have moments you're not so proud of, but so do I." Cas said and got off Dean, "Roll over." Cas said gently as he rubbed his hands over Dean's back, it was shining slightly with the oils, but they were completely worked into his skin making it much softer. 

Dean opened his eyes and rolled onto his back, "I'm a demon, I'm obviously not going to be a good guy." He said, stretching out then getting comfortable and relaxed again. 

Cas smiled and straddled Dean again, "You may be a demon, but that doesn't mean you aren't good." Cas said and leaned down to give him a soft kiss, "Maybe at the time I didn't think so, but you saved me from my life on earth." Cas said and sighed, he sat up and looked down at Dean's chest and his hands. He had a troubled past and didn't usually talk about it, there were some things he hadn't told Dean. It wasn't that he was hiding it, it just never came up and he never had the chance to tell him. 

Dean looked up at him, "I know you went through a lot, but life couldn't have been so bad." He sighed softly thinking of both Cas' and his own past. He tensed a bit and sunk down into the bed. 

Cas felt like he was stabbed in the heart, 'couldn't have been so bad?' Cas thought. He sighed and shook his head, maybe he shouldn't tell Dean what he'd gone through. He got off Dean and sat at the edge of the bed, but he yawned and stretched trying to make it look natural and like he was tired instead of hurt. He didn't say anything though he just grabbed the bottle and walked back to the bathroom to put it away closing and locked the door quietly before he put away the bottle. He washed his hands and thought about his past, those things he hadn't told Dean yet. He knew Dean had a rough past, worse than his own, but Dean also had Sam with him, someone to watch his back for him. That was something Cas didn't have, he always made the mistake of trusting someone and in the end he was back stabbed, it was like that wherever he went, even in the church. It was worse when they had found out who his family was, what his brother had done, after that was made public no one trusted him, no one cared for him, he was alone in the world, no one to turn to, even God was silent to him. He had tried to commit suicide several times during those days, but it was never successful, someone always happened upon him in the nick of time. Cas shook his head trying to forget about it, he couldn't linger on it, not alone. He sniffled, just now noticing he was crying. He wiped his tears and sighed, maybe a shower would help. He stripped and turned on the shower, walking in slowly and letting the warm water wash over him as he desperately tried to forget about his past, the things he did to survive, the people he trusted and sold him out, his miserable life he was forced to live until Dean took him. 

Dean frowned and watched Cas leave. He sighed and layed on his side, "Fucked up again." He mumbled to himself before pulling the blankets up and closing his eyes, knowing Cas wanted alone time and it was obvious. He closed his eyes and relaxed getting as much relaxation as possible, for a demon that was sleep. 

Cas stood in the shower for a while, he didn't even need one he just needed to do something and since he was in the bathroom a shower seemed like a good idea, but now it's been two hours and Cas is sitting in the corner of the shower hugging his knees close to his chest crying as his memories come flooding back. Cas couldn't stop his mind from reeling back to the points in his life when he felt hopeless, alone, and lost. He never wanted to feel like that again, but those memories were clawing their way back and with them the feelings. His heart was beating faster and he was afraid to move, but he needed Dean. His first thought was Dean, but then he thought that Dean would just leave him to, why would Dean want him? He shook his head trying to reason with himself about how Dean loves him and would never leave him, but then he thought of Alastair and he whimpered, "No." Cas whispered out as he began to tremble at those memories, he was beginning to think that Dean was going to throw him out because he had been used by another, but he didn't throw him out before, why would he throw him out now? Cas couldn't think of a logical answer the loneliness making his stomach fall as he realized he was alone right now and all he wanted was someone to comfort him, he wanted Dean, but he was starting to wonder if Dean wanted him. 

Dean was actually surprised that he was able to sleep because he hadn't in a long time. After walking up he noticed the shower water still running. He knew it had been a few hours since cas was in the bathroom and was starting to worry. He got out of bed and tried opening the door to find it was locked. A sense of panic ran through him, Cas never locked the door and he didn't know why he would. Dean knocked, "Cas are you okay?" He asked, pressing his face against the crack between the door and the doorframe. 

Cas didn't hear the knock or Dean's voice he was too caught up in his mind reliving horrible memories, have flashbacks. *Flash Back* Cas was running, as fast as he could trying to get away from two men. He had trusted one man to help him, he told him his story told him, his brother throwing him out after he stood up for his older sister. The man had listened to it all and then the next day he showed up with another man, both much more muscular than he. It wasn't hard to guess that they meant him harm, that they were here to make his life miserable, it wasn't until they said, 'Michael says hello' that he sprinted away, running for his life. The men didn't seem to be phased by his running, they anticipated it. They gave chase and Cas found himself in a dead end looking at a brick wall while he was trapped with two men. He turned around and felt fear rise up, what were they going to do? Out of the flashback Cas was whimpering and holding himself his eyes shut tight as tears fell down his face, he was freezing because the water had turned cold long ago and his trembling only added to his fear and living nightmare. 

Dean right away thought the worst and knocked harder, "Castiel!" He said louder, his voice laced with panic, "Castiel open the door!" He continuously banged on the door needing some sign that Cas was still in there and that he was okay. 

Cas head Dean, but covered his ears and whimpered, "No please." Cas whispered out, begging his attackers to leave him alone. They cornered him and he had nowhere to run, he was backed into a corner and sunk down holding his knees. That was when the first blow came, it dislocated his jaw. He didn't know they had pipes, all he knew was that his brother had paid them to beat the shit out of him; maybe even kill him. Outside the flashback Cas was hyperventilating holding his head his eyes closed as his body shook and he whimpered. Right now he wasn't in the bathroom in Hell, he was in the alley way in a big city having the shit beaten out of him. He didn't have the capacity to cry out, he didn't have the ability to beg them to stop, he could only take what they gave him and try his best to find a way to deal with the pain. Cas couldn't see straight, he could think straight, and he was hallucinating. 

Dean felt his whole body get a rush or fear, "Castiel!" He screamed out his name, kicking and pounding the door, he kept trying to get in as he continued to scream Cas' name out of fear of his lovers life. 

Cas heard Dean, but his voice wasn't full of panic it was full of anger and malice. Cas was trembling and holding everything in until finally he couldn't stop himself, he started screaming and gross sobbing. He was pushed to his limit, thrown over the edge and he was petrified and had no control over his body. His flashback continued in full force as his voice mimicked that of someone being beaten. He screamed until he couldn't breath then took a breath and did it all over again until eventually his voice was hoarse and unusable. That didn't stop his body convulsing or the gross sobbing that continued as his flashback became more and more intense the pain as real to him as it was when he first endured it. Cas was weak, terrified, and not in control of his body. Everything he did was a response to the beating he took, even if it was imagined. He never felt so alone, so afraid, so hopeless than when he remembered these dark times of his life. Dean had a rough life, but his brother never had someone try to kill him, try to snuff him out permanently. Dean's brother never hated him, never wanted him to truly be out of the picture for good that wasn't the case with Cas. His brother hated him, wanted him dead, wanted his entire family dead even, and he went to great lengths to try and make that happen, this flashback is one of many memories Cas has of his brother making an attempt at his life and he knew he should have warned Dean, should have told him the rest of his past, but right now he was only thinking about his fear and pain completely overwhelming him. 

Dean heard Cas' screams and did all he could until he finally knocked down the door and saw C as sitting there. He turned off the water and grabbed a towel, walking it around Cas who was a screaming sobbing mess. He sat in the tub and pulled Cas onto his lap, not caring if he was getting wet. Dean did all he could to try and comfort Cas, rubbing his back, kissing his forehead, singing to him, everything he could think of that normally calmed him down. 

Cas screamed when Dean broke the door down and when he grabbed him he started whimpering and sputtering and begging him to leave him alone, he wouldn't go near Michael again, he would keep away. He was broken and weak and cold, he was begging his imagination not to kill him, not to rape him, not to hurt him, to stop hitting him to leave him alone, "I'm nothing." Cas cried out trying to make them lose interest in him, he was already defeated and broken, but they kept on hitting and beating and Cas kept sobbing and pushing Dean away trying weakly to get away from his attacker. He had no idea Dean was helping him, or being gentle with him, he was too frightened his mind reliving his nightmares. 

Dean shook his head and pulled cas closer, pushing his head against his chest and holding him tight so he couldn't lash around, "Calm down." He spoke softly. He was taking slow deep breaths trying to get Cas to follow along. He closes his eyes and sang a bit louder hoping Cas would hear and calm down a bit. 

Cas whimpered and tried to get away from Dean, but Dean's hold was too strong for him to fight. He was trembling and whimpering, "Please don't kill me." Cas begged his voice weak and broken, "Please I don't want to die." Cas whimpered out tense and afraid. He had no defense, whatever his attackers would do to him he couldn't stop them. He just kept whimpering and trembling unable to do anything else. 

Dean sighed deeply knowing he wasn't helping, "Listen, I will never hurt you." He said loudly so Cas could hear him, "I love you." He kissed the top of Cas' head and rested his face in his hair. 

Cas whimpered flinching away from Dean trying to get away, in his mind this wasn't Dean, this was the man he had trusted and he betrayed him in favor of money from his older brother, "Liar!" Cas cried out, "You sold me out! I trusted you and you sold me out to Michael!" Cas said struggling again, "He paid you to kill me!" Cas said his voice breaking, "You betrayed me." Cas said panting trying to get away from him, he wasn't going to let this man touch him if he could help it. He was still reliving his flashback, nothing was at it seemed and he didn't know Dean was holding him, all he saw was Jeremy, the man he trusted when he was in the homeless shelter back on earth, his only friend. 

Dean held him to his chest still, "It's Dean." He kissed his head again, "I won't ever hurt you, I love you." He moved his hand up to run his hands through Cas' hair, "You're my everything, we have babies together, I would never hurt you in any way." He explained to him. 

Cas was panting and crying and gripped Dean's shirt looking up at him afraid and finally his nightmare was coming to an end, but he didn't believe it, he was skeptical, "D-Dean?" Cas asked trembling, his grip weak and his voice hoarse, almost to the point you couldn't understand him. 

Dean looked down at him and smiled sadly, "I'm right here for you, baby." He kept his hand running through Cas' hair, "No one will hurt you." He kissed his forehead and looked him in the eyes. 

Cas gasped, "Dean." He whimpered broken and afraid. He clung to Dean for dear life burying his face in the crook of Dean's neck and started crying afraid if he let go Dean would disappear. Cas whimpered and cried as he trembled, he was cold and the towel was wet and cold as well. 

Dean shushed him and rubbed his back, "C'mon baby, let's go get you changed and we'll cuddle, okay?" He said softly as he held him, "No one will hurt you, I got you." He slowly stood up, holding Cas and the wet towel in his arms. 

Cas let Dean lead him, but he didn't let go. Cas gripped Dean's shirt as tightly as he could refusing to let him go, no matter what, "D-Dean." Cas whimpered out, it was the only word he could say at the moment, but he wanted to tell Dean not to leave him. All he did was tighten his grip, if that was possible, and cling to Dean for life. 

Dean walked to the bed and tried to set him down, but all Cas did was cling. Dean sighed softly, "Baby, let go. We gotta get you dressed." He kept his voice soft so he didn't scare Cas more than he already was. 

Cas whimpered and shook his head unwilling to let Dean go, "Dean." Cas said hoarse and broken, his flashback was gone, but the fear and the heartache were still there. The fact that his brother hated him so much he wanted to kill him, the man he trusted that betrayed him for money. Cas was afraid if he let Dean go he would betray him as well, why wouldn't he? Dean was a demon after all, once you gave him a good enough deal he would hand over his own mother. That's what scared Cas the most, Dean trading him for something, or making a deal and he was what they bargained for. Cas just whimpered and cried harder, and clung harder, when Dean tried to make him let go, his hands hurt from gripping so hard for so long, but Cas wasn't going to let go. 

Dean ended up prying Cas off of him then walked over to the dresser and grabbed clothes for him, setting them on the bed, "We'll get you dressed when you feel better." He sat in bed and pulled the blankets over Cas so he wouldn't get too cold. 

Cas was shaking and cold which made him wrap himself around Dean as he cried into Dean's neck, he didn't know what to do with himself. He didn't know if he was safe or not, "D-Dean." Cas cried, he was scared and Dean was something he knew would comfort him, but he couldn't breathe, he was panting, practically hyperventilating, and he couldn't get his breathing to go back to normal. 

Dean ran his hand through cas' hair, "I'm right here, Cas." He kissed the side of his head. Dean laid down and held Cas on his chest, pulling the blankets up, "I love you, its gonna be okay." He closed his eyes and softly sang to Cas, knowing his voice always helped calm him down. 

It took a while, longer than it should have, for Cas to calm down. His breathing started to calm down, finally slowing his heart rate enough that it wasn't pounding in his ears. He stopped making noise in fact, but as he uncoiled his fingers he whimpered because they hurt. He had gripped Dean's shirt so hard his hands were shaking as he opened them, they wouldn't relax on their own even, Cas had to force them to open then move them which hurt more, but it was a superficial pain. He sniffled and buried his face deeper into the crook of Dean's neck as he shook, "I-I-I'm c-cold." Cas tried to say, but his voice was so hoarse he didn't know if Dean understood him. 

Dean sat up, but still held Cas and grabbed his clothes, "Let's get you dressed, okay?" He grabbed Cas' shirt and got it ready so he could help him get dressed, "You gotta cooperate with me though." He leaned his head slightly against Cas'. 

Cas nodded and sniffled. He shakily let Dean go and, with Dean's help, put his shirt on. After he wrapped his arms around Dean, still cold, and trembled. He could feel Dean's warmth and he wanted more of it, even his face was cold. 

Dean smiled and grabbed his pants, "Last thing then we can cuddle, okay?" He scooted out from under Cas and stood up, "Just lay down and I'll put these on you." He made sure the pants were facing the right way. 

Cas whimpered, but nodded and did as Dean asked holding himself as he waited for Dean. He was still terrified Dean was going to leave him, but he kept his eyes locked on Dean, as long as he could see him he would be okay, he knew Dean would hold him in a minute so the sooner he finished this the sooner he would be in Dean's warm arms. 

Dean slid his pants on then crawled in beside him and wrapped his arms tightly around him, "I've got you." He said softly as he held Cas close and pulled the blankets over the both of them so they stayed warm. 

Cas trembled and as soon as Dean was there clung to him for dear life like before, but much more tame, "P-Please." Cas whimpers, his fears overwhelming him, his insecurities burning a hole through his confidence, "D-Don't l-leave m-me a-alon-ne." Cas begged then whimpered, afraid Dean would be upset, "I-I n-need y-you." He said, his voice so hoarse it hurt, but he had to tell Dean, had to beg him to stay, not to trade him away. He would rather die than be with someone other than Dean. 

Dean nodded, "I won't, don't worry." He pulled the blankets up closer to Cas, "You need to sleep though." He moved Cas' head into the crook of his neck, "I'll get Sam and Gabe to watch the babies longer." He closed his eyes and started humming, hoping it would calm Cas down enough to sleep. 

Cas inhales slowly, breathing in Dean's scent and relaxes slightly, "Y-You'll b-be here wh-when I-I wake u-up, r-right?" Cas asked, his voice betraying his vulnerability, he didn't want Dean to leave him, he was afraid if he was gone he would make plans to send him away. The thought alone made Cas whimper and tighten his hold on Dean. 

Dean stopped humming and looked down at Cas, "Of course, I love you Cas." He leaned forward and gently kissed his lips, "When you wake up we can talk if you want." He gave him a reassuring smile. 

Cas weakly kissed back if only to let Dean know he wasn't rejecting the gesture. After, he nuzzled the crook of Dean's neck and nodded. He needed to tell Dean, he deserved to know why he had a meltdown in the showers. Cas sighed and let a few more tears fall, he couldn't really stop them, and tried to fall asleep. He had no energy left to smile or talk or even think. He just laid in Dean's arms exhausted while he slowly warmed up. 

Once Dean knew cas was asleep he quickly got up and went to Sam and Gabe's room. he told them they needed to watch the babies a little longer then he quickly went back to his room and curled in bed beside Cas once more. 

When Dean left Cas whimpered in his sleep searching for him, but when Dean came back Cas latched onto Dean and clung to him, even his subconscious was afraid Dean would leave him. He whimpered as he hung onto Dean trembling because he was still cold, but he wasn't as panicked as before. 

Dean ran his hand through Cas' hair, "I'm here." He whispered, holding Cas to his chest and quietly singing to him again. He wanted Cas to be fully relaxed before they even mentioned why Cas broke down like that. 

Cas slept, but it was anything but peaceful and restful. His mind was full of nightmares of Dean selling him to the highest bidder or Michael somehow finding him down here and being bought from Dean. In all of these scenarios Dean is selling Cas or giving him away, Cas is the unwanted one and it hurts. It cuts him deep and he doesn't know what to do other than cling to Dean even more in his sleep until he opens his eyes expecting to be in some other bed, owned by someone other than Dean to be used for their purposes, "Dean." Cas whispers, his voice hoarse so it didn't sound like anything other than a rough mangled version of his name, but Cas sounded so heartbroken and lost. He felt so vulnerable and bare, afraid that he wasn't clinging to Dean, but someone else. 

Dean heard his voice and looked down at him, smiling sadly hearing how hoarse his voice was, "Good morning handsome." He kissed his forehead then looked down at him, the same sad smile on his face. 

Cas felt his heart sink when he saw Dean's smile, "W-What's wrong?" Cas asked panic lacing his voice. Why was Dean smiling sadly at him? Was he upset with him? Did he know something Cas didn't know? Cas felt tears fall and his stomach drop, the emotional pain almost crippling when he thought that smile meant Dean had sold him, "P-Please d-don't sell m-me." Cas begged his heart racing as he tried to keep his voice clear, but it only sounded more broken than ever before, "I-I'll do a-anything." He pleaded his eyes full of fear and heartbreak, his voice wrecked with hurt, "I-If you d-don't want m-me..." Cas started, his hands shaking weakly, "Th-Then please j-just kill m-me." Cas said, his voice full of pain and emotion, "I-I won't s-stop you, I-I won't fight y-you."Cas said fear being added to the mix of emotions in his voice he only wanted to be with Dean, but if Dean was going to betray him like everyone else than the least he could do was end Cas' suffering, he had gone through to much in his life, he couldn't handle any more, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if Dean sold him, he couldn't survive knowing Dean wormed his way into his heart and then ripped it apart. 

Deans smile fell and he pulled Cas to his chest again, "What are you talking about? I would never sell you or kill you." He sighed, "Why would you say something like that?" He closed his eyes and rubbed Cas' back, "Please don't ever say things like that ever again. I love you more than anything." He told him, his mind still replaying what Cas had been saying. 

Cas whimpered and cried, not making much noise because if he tried to talk above a whisper his voice would give. His body was wracked with sobs though, even if he couldn't make much noise he was still sobbing, unable to do anything else. He needed Dean, he needed his warmth, his voice, his love. Cas was addicted to Dean and if he was ripped from him Cas wouldn't survive. He just held on to Dean weakly, his body still exhausted from yesterday. He didn't know how he would tell Dean what was wrong, or even if he could tell Dean. His voice was destroyed, but Cas could try, he needed to try. 

Dean sighed and just comforted cas. He didn't mind waiting for him to calm down, "Cas, just calm down. I love you." He said again, wanting cas to know. All he did was lay there and hold cas, comforting Cas as best as he could. 

Cas eventually stopped sobbing, the tears were still pouring out, but he was slowly calming down after his panic. He stopped trembling, but he didn't make a move to speak, he just clung to Dean as his tears fell. He didn't move, he didn't speak, he only strained to breathe and let his tears fall as he clung to Dean. 

Dean decided not to say anything further. All he did way lay there holding Cas and continuously thought why Cas would think he would sell him or want to kill him. 

Cas swallowed the lump in his throat down and took in a few more breaths before he bit his lip, "D-Dean?" Cas asked his voice scared, he didn't know why, but he was scared of Dean, scared of what he could do to him. Dean hadn't done anything, but Cas was acutely aware of just how powerful Dean was, just how violent he could be, and exactly how deadly his anger was. 

Dean looked Cas in the eyes and nodded, "Yes?" He didn't break eye contact from Cas, "If you want to talk we can, but if you aren't ready I'll give you more time, okay?" He glanced down and took Cas hands then looked back up at him. 

Cas swallowed again, trying to swallow his fear, but he couldn't he just wanted hide away from Dean. He was afraid to say anything, but he didn't know why. Cas felt Dean take his hand and tense slightly, but tried to calm down. Dean wouldn't hurt him, would he? Cas mentally kicked himself, what was wrong with him? Of course Dean wouldn't hurt him. Cas ducked his head breaking eye contact with Dean in favor of hiding his face in Dean's neck afraid to look at him, "I-I'm sorry." Cas said, he felt guilty for all of this happening, having a melt down in the shower, and then earlier, he was just making Dean's life harder and he didn't know if Dean was going to snap because of it. 

Dean didn't know what to do any more to help him, "Cas, don't be sorry. Just let me know, do you wanna talk now or later?" he let go of his hands and wrapped his arms around Cas, rubbing his hand over his back. 

Cas took in a shaky breath, he wanted to talk right now, but he couldn't bare to think about what he had gone through right now, "L-Later." Cas said his voice broken and wrecked, "I-If that's o-okay with y-you." Cas added, he felt like he needed to walk on eggshells around Dean, like he was walking on thin ice. He didn't want to set Dean off, he'd done it before, granted it was only once or twice, but he was afraid that he would right now. 

Dean nodded, "That's perfectly okay." He wasn't going to pressure Cas into talking if he wasn't comfortable, "Want me to get you a glass of water?" He slowly tried to get out of bed. 

Cas panicked and held onto Dean tighter, "No, don't leave!" Cas practically yelled then flinched and whimpered, "Please don't leave me." Cas said and swallowed hard expecting to get hit. He knew, he knew Dean wouldn't hurt him, why was he afraid now? It was frustrating, but Cas didn't do anything about it he just held onto Dean now wrapping his legs around him so he couldn't leave. 

Dean chuckled softly feeling Cas' legs wrapped around him. He went back to the position that he was in before, "Okay, I'll stay." He kissed his cheek, "You don't have to worry, okay?" He told him slowly moving his hand to his cheek and tracing circles with his thumb. 

Cas calmed down and relaxed a little, but wasn't expecting Dean's hand to cup his cheek. He flinched, but didn't move after that letting the warmth seep in, for a moment Cas didn't think about anything else he just focused on the warmth and slowly leaned into Dean's touch. He rested his head on Dean's chest and let the hand on his cheek anchor him and calm him. He needed more gentle touches, more reassurance that Dean wasn't going to hurt him. 

Dean smiled, "There we go, finally calming down." He kept his hand on Cas' cheek and his thumb moving, "Maybe we can have the whole day just the two of us and tomorrow we'll get the babies back, hows that sound?" He was taking slow deep breaths and watching Cas' head rise and fall with each breath. 

Cas sighed softly and nodded against Dean's chest, "I-I would like that." Cas said quietly, trying to keep his voice from cracking though it still sounded terrible. He wanted to talk about what he freaked out over and he knew they would sooner or later, but Cas had already said later, and he knew it would be better if he forgot about it for a while before he talked about it with Dean, "Could we..." Cas started then stopped himself, he wanted to go to the garden, but he didn't want to make an requests, he'd already made it difficult for Dean, he didn't deserve to ask anything of Dean. 

Dean looked down at him and moved his hand from his cheek, brushing his hair from his face, "could we what?" He started brushing Cas' hair with his fingers, trying to gently get the knots out. 

Cas bit his lip as Dean started untangling his hair, he had a very sensitive scalp and he didn't know if Dean knew that. As Dean untangled his hair he pulled a little to hard and Cas whimpered his flying up to his head, "I'm sorry." He rushed thinking Dean pulled his hair as punishment, "Please don't punish me." He whimpered out, afraid that he was in trouble for trying to request they go to the garden. Cas just kept his hands clamped on his hair, and subsequently Dean's hands, while he whimpered and kept his eyes closed tight, tensing up. 

Dean quickly untangled his fingers and looked down at Cas, "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry for pulling your hair." He told him as he slowly and gently cupped his cheek again, "Baby, tell me the truth and I promise I wont get mad." He paused so Cas could understand that, "Are you scared of me right now?" He asked, moving his thumb gently over his cheek again. 

Cas whimpered as Dean untangled his fingers, pulling more of his hair in the process. Cas tried not to flinch away from Dean's and as he cupped his cheek, but he still did, though it wasn't as noticeable as before. When Dean asked him if he was scared of him Cas whimpered. He didn't want to be scared of Dean, but right now, with everything, all the memories that have been clawing their way to the forefront of Cas' mind he can't help, but be afraid of Dean. Old memories mixed with new ones make old fears rise. Cas tried to keep himself from crying, afraid if he told Dean the truth he would be mad at him, despite what Dean said, but Cas knew Dean would be upset if he lied. Cas just bit his lip harder weighing his options trying to calculate what the odds of him getting through this without being punished were. He ended up biting his lip so hard he tasted blood which made him gasped and cover his mouth. He didn't say anything, rather he nodded his head and closed his eyes not wanting to see Dean's reaction. He didn't want to see the hurt, or the anger or any other emotion play out on Dean's face. He didn't want to watch as Dean wound up to hit him, he just expected it like it was second nature because at one point in his life being hit for telling truth was a regular occurrence, not only at the Vatican. 

Dean frowned and looked down, it hurt him knowing the man he loved more than anything was afraid of him, but all he could do to help him get over his fear was show him he would never hurt him. He just kept rubbing Cas' cheek, "It's okay, we'll work this out." He told him, "We'll make everything like it was two days ago." He took a deep breath and looked down at Cas, wanting to see how he would react. 

Cas sobbed into his hands, Dean was already helping him get over his fears. He just wanted more tender touches, more soft caresses, more loving kisses, but Cas could never ask for this. He would accept any gentle and loving touch Dean offered, but never tell him what he wanted, he didn't want to direct Dean, he was the boss, the master, and Cas never told him what to do. He looked up at Dean, swallowing the blood in his mouth, and caught Dean's gaze. He had fear swimming in his eyes and he could see the hurt in Dean's which made tears spring to his eyes. He was responsible for hurting Dean, because he was afraid of him. Guilt washed over Cas and more tears fell as he tried, and failed, to break eye contact with Dean. 

Dean looked down at Cas and wiped his tears away, "There's no need to cry, it's all okay." His voice was extremely gentle, no longer wanting Cas to be afraid. He moved Cas' hands and leaned down to place a soft peck on his lips. 

Cas leaned into Dean's kiss, but didn't kiss back, he didn't know how at the moment. His heart was slowing down, his panic falling back to a distant feeling as he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. His eyes fluttered closed as he tried to hold Dean's touch, he just wanted Dean. He knew he could get over his fear if Dean kept treated him like this. Cas slowly moved his hands from Deans gentle hold to rest on the side of Dean's neck. Dean was so warm and Cas found it comforting, safe, and he didn't want that feeling to go away. 

Dean smiled softly and looked down at him, "I love you." He'd been saying that a lot since Cas had started panicking, but he just wanted to hear Cas say it back. He needed to hear Cas' voice say those three words back. 

Cas felt his heart skip a beat, it felt like the first time Dean had said those words to him. He looked the same and it was in the same exact voice which made Cas sigh dreamily out of reflex and say, "I love you too." Even if he was afraid Cas was still head over heals for Dean and found him to be the sexiest most attractive being he's ever seen in his entire life. Cas looked up to Dean then closed his eyes and slowly rested his head in the crook of Dean's neck nuzzling it hesitantly. He wanted Dean to know it was genuine, he was saying it out of fear, he truly meant it. He was actually surprised Dean kept saying it, he thought Dean would feel awkward and just leave Cas claiming he had too much baggage, but Dean hadn't. Dean has stuck with Cas for a long time, and Cas bared his children. He smiled at that thought, he had two beautiful babies, with Dean; He had a family. Cas sighed softly against Dean's neck nuzzling it again this time giving it a soft kiss, he almost wondered if Dean even felt it. 

Dean closed his eyes and sighed happily. It felt like a weight off his shoulders hearing cas say it again. He traced circles on his back and could feel Cas nuzzling his neck, but didn't feel the kiss. 

Cas relaxed against Dean, not worrying about being hit, he felt much more at ease. He was slowly piecing everything together again. Dean and Jeremy were two different people, nothing alike, not in appearance or personality. Cas doubted anyone was like Dean with personality, he was something otherworldly. As Cas was slowly putting things back into place he grew more confident and affectionate and this time placed a firm kiss right on Dean's Adam's apple. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and his breath hitched, but he didn't stop there. He nuzzled Dean's neck more placing softly, but firm kisses on Dean's neck. He didn't say anything though, he didn't want to. He just let his mind relax and sort out the memories of Jeremy and the memories of Dean and let himself realized that Dean was the love of his life, no someone to be feared. 

Dean smiled small, "What were you going to ask earlier?" He asked, continuing to trace small circles along his back. He wanted to know what Cas wanted so he could help him with everything and anything he needed. 

Cas kissed all over Dean's neck, softly, but making sure they were all felt and lingered letting the warmth of Dean's neck seep into his lips. He loved the stubble on Dean's upper neck and kissed all the way to his ear. He heard Dean's question and kissed the skin right under his ear, "I wanted to go to the garden." Cas said, then breathed slowly below Dean's ear as his voice lowered, "But I'd rather stay here instead." Cas told him before his kissed Dean's jaw. He was slowly gaining his confidence back and at this point almost all his fear was gone now that he had time to sort out his memories. He just wanted to shower Dean in kisses, his way of apologizing and showing his affection all in one. Not to mention he loved kiss, it was very high on his list of things to do to Dean or have done to him with cumming inside Dean or Dean cumming inside of him being the top thing. It was something so intimate that Cas loved sharing with Dean because only Dean has seen him cum and only Dean can make him cum. Cas sighed against Dean's neck as those thoughts passed through his mind. He bit his lip holding back a moan, he didn't need a hard on right now so he calmed himself down and went back to nuzzling Dean's neck kissing him all over. 

Dean had a small smile on his face and he tilted his head back so Cas could kiss his neck better, "We can go to the garden if you still want to." He told him, biting his own lip gently as he melted into each of Cas' kisses. Dean understood right away what Cas was talking about, "Okay, I'll be right here to listen and if you need to stop I wont pressure you into continuing." He wanted Cas to know that he would never force him to talk about anything that made him uncomfortable. 

Cas nodded and took a few shaky breaths, "Back when Michael had just thrown me out I didn't have anywhere to go." Cas said and sighed, "I hitchhiked, it got me a few states away from him, and that's when I found a homeless shelter." Cas said and grabbed Dean's shirt, "It wasn't so bad after a month. I got up brushed my teeth ate breakfast then went to the small corner store I worked at. It wasn't much and it was hard in the beginning coming from a rich family who had everything you could want. Needless to say I felt hopeless in the very beginning and I'm not even sure how I got there to be honest, but I was there and I had finally had a routine. Most of the guys kept to themselves, but they were also older men who didn't want a young kid as a friend. I looked like I came from money and most of them resented me thinking I was just doing it to look down at them or something. None of them knew my back story and no one would listen, I didn't have a friend in the world." Cas told Dean, his voice completely hopeless like how he felt back then, "But then after I started working at the corner store I finally met someone. His name was Jeremy and he was really nice. He was old than me by ten years, but he kind of guided me and took me under his wing. Eventually I got out of the homeless shelter after a year and moved in with him. Back then I had sworn off relationships because Michael had forbidden everyone from having any kind of relationship and it stuck, me and him were just friends and I wasn't even looking for one because I had just lost my home, my family, and everything I held dear in the last year while I figured out what I was going to do with my life. All at the ripe old age of twenty two." Cas said then laughed mirthlessly, "Imagine being kicked out of your house by your oldest brother and the rest of them just watch with pity, your entire family against you, even the one you spent your entire life protecting." Cas said and sniffled a few tears falling. 

Dean listened to Cas' story, "I know how it feels not to have any friends of a home." He said so Cas knew he wasn't alone. He didn't want to be talking about himself though so he looked at Cas and kissed the top of his head, "Keep going if you want." He told him, giving him a reassuring smile. 

Cas nodded, "I tried to get Anna to come with me, but she was too afraid of Michael to leave so after a heated argument she slapped me and told me she never wanted to see me again." Cas said and sniffled, "That day I told her I loved her and that if she ever wanted to get out from under Michael she could always call me, at that point I had a phone, courtesy of my parents. They had paid for it for two years because after dad died they figured that would be long enough for us to get our own jobs and lead our own lives." Cas sighed, "That's not how it worked though. I left and then ended up a year later at Jeremy's. It took a long time, but I eventually trusted Jeremy and told him everything. My back story, my family life, everything up until I had met him." Cas said then he swallowed gripping Dean's shirt tightly, "Well after that a few months later I got a note, it wasn't very long, but it was clear. 'I know where you are. Don't think you'll escape me twice Castiel.' Is what it said." Cas explained to Dean which made him shiver, "I-It was from Michael." Cas said his voice quivering as a few tears fell, "I hid the note, it was taped to the front door, and hoped it was just a scare tactic or someone else, but I was wrong. Two weeks later and I'm walking home from working the late shift at the corner store, it was twenty four hours. I walked home and noticed I was being followed. It scared the shit out of me because it had never happened to me and I realized I left my bag at my work which had my pepper spray." Cas said then took a moment to calm himself down, "I... I ended up being spooked by a dog and it sparked panic so I ran, I sprinted down the street and ran straight into Jeremy. I thought I was saved and told him I was being followed, but when I looked behind me the guy was gone. Jeremy thought I was going crazy and just over worked so he ended up walking me home, but instead of going the normal way he took me down back alleys." Cas said and whimpered remembering everything. 

Dean wiped cas' tears,afraid where this story was going. He was expecting for cas to be raped and beaten. He should have known better than to go down the alley with Jeremy. 

Cas sniffled, "I wasn't paying attention cause I trusted Jeremy, he was pretty strong and knew how to handle himself so I knew I was safe with him, but that was just an illusion." Cas shuddered, "I was walking with him and we ended up down a dead end, it was a chain link fence though and he said he had the key to the lock, but that was when some other guy showed up. I saw him and Jeremy saw him and smiled, they obviously knew each other, but it was dark and I couldn't tell who they guy was. That was until his stepped into the light." Cas whimpered again at the memory, "It was Raphael." Cas told Dean through tears, "Everyone knew he was Michael's lackey, but I never thought he would stoop so low. They both greeted each other and then he handed Jeremy a pipe." I was slowly backed away and ended up tripping on a box left in the alley. I was alone, defenseless and knew that Jeremy was Raphael's friend, the way they greeted each other. Turned out they went to college together." Cas said and sniffled as more tears fell, "Long story short they beat me. I had so many broken bones and dislocated limbs I'm surprised I can still walk today." Cas said, "They would have killed me, Jeremy was about to land the killing blow before a cop saw the whole thing and hopped the fence drawing his gun. They scattered and after I heard the cop call for back up I passed out and later woke up in a hospital room and had a panic attack, they had to sedate me and then I was put in physical therapy and regain the use of my leg, but I still have trouble with my right shoulder, they set it wrong and now I have to be careful or it'll pop out of it's socket. I was in debt for years and almost went to prison for evading paying, but eventually I worked my way out of that rut. Took me a few years, but after that day I never trusted anyone again. My brother was going to kill me, my own flesh and blood was going to bash my skull open with a pipe if that cop hadn't shown up." Cas said the memory causing his heart to break all over again, "They had talked to me while they beat the shit out of me. Asked me questions told me if I told the truth they wouldn't hit me, but as I answered them they just beat me even hard. They kept feeding me lies telling me I was thrown out because I was rebellious and that I needed to die because I needed to go to Hell before I tainted the family with my rebellious lifestyle." Cas smiled, "Ironic now that I'm married to a demon and have half demon half human children, not to mention the Archangel as my brother in law." Cas said, "I wonder what Michael would say about me now." Cas said and looked down. He wasn't sobbing, but he had tears streaking down his face rapidly, pooling on Dean's neck. The heartbreak is just as bad now as it was back then for Cas, "After I got out of physical therapy I tried to commit suicide several times, I tried to kill myself so I didn't have to live in a world where my other brother tried to kill me, my own family." Cas whimpered, "I had no hope, nothing to live for. You had Sam, you protected him and he loves you, but I had no one, my brother hated me, wanted me dead and then he ended up killing them all, even tried to take me out too. Then I almost did his work for him." Cas sniffled, "I didn't have anyone, everyone I tried to get close to betrayed me so I stopped and then I was found by that priest and ultimately the Vatican and you know the rest." Cas said as he let his tears fall, "Sam never betrayed you like my brothers did to me, he was always there, always needed you, but I was the one who needed them." Cas said his voice full of emotion, "I needed them and they tossed me out, they threw me away, they stabbed me in the back and left me to die. I was so hopeless I had nothing to live for, no reason to get up in the morning, I was just wanted to die." Cas said and whimpered, "And yesterday, I had a flashback, I started reliving it all, all over again. The betrayal, the heartache, the lies." Cas sniffled, "And then last night, I had nightmares about you doing the same as my family. Selling me out, throwing me away, use me as a bargaining chip." Cas sobbed quietly, "I thought you didn't want me." Cas whimpered out, "That's why I asked you to kill me, because I don't want to live knowing you didn't want me. I can't handle anymore betrayal, I just want it to end if that's what's waiting for me. I don't want to live without you Dean, I can't, and if you don't want me please don't sell me." Cas said his voice sounding more and more desperate as it broke, "I'd rather die, I can't live without you. You're my everything, you're the only thing I live for now, you and our children." Cas said as his tears flowed out, he couldn't sob anymore, he didn't have the energy, he didn't really get any rest when he slept, just more fears, "If you don't want me..." Cas started and whimpered, "Just tell me, I'll make it easy for you and just walk to the hounds." Cas said and cried silently, "Why would you want me anyway?" Cas asked brokenly, "I'm nothing special, I'm just a man with a sob story." Cas said dejectedly, "Just give me the word Dean." Cas said his voice full of heartbreak and hurt, it was obvious the fact that his family tried to kill him completely destroyed his self esteem, he didn't think anything of himself, he was worthless, less than the dirt people walked on and Cas didn't realized this was the first time he'd ever expressed how he felt about himself to Dean. How he thought of himself as worthless, unworthy of life, completely and utterly unwanted by anyone or anything. Cas honestly thought Dean would send him to the hounds, this was his get out of jail free card in Cas' mind, why wouldn't he take it? 

Dean sighed and held onto Cas the whole time he spoke. All Dean did was listen, not interrupting him once. When Cas was done Dean took Cas' face in his hands so he was forced to look him in the eyes, "Cas, listen to me. I will never, i repeat, never want to kill you or hurt you in anyway." He kept looking Cas right in the eyes as he spoke, "I love you more than anything ever, other than out babies, you understand?" He leaned forward and pecked his lips, "I wouldn't want to kill you or even exist knowing my dogs killed you." He spoke from the heart and he honestly meant all he was saying, "I promise to you that you have all my trust and all my love." He smiled warmly and leaned forward to kiss him again. 

Cas whimpered against Dean's lips and looked into Dean's eyes, his own scared and vulnerable, "Why?" He asked brokenly, whatever Dean said Cas would remember it for the rest of his life. 

Dean looked at him in the eyes, "Because I love you more than I have ever loved anything." He wanted to keep what he said as simple as could be, knowing Cas would take this in mind. 

Cas whimpered and closed his eyes leaning forward and capturing Dean's lips in a messy frantic kiss. He didn't know what he did to earn Dean's love, but he didn't want to think about it anymore, "I love you too." He said, his voice breaking, but he didn't care and just wanted to kiss him all over, love him, thank him. Cas has been through so much and the fact that Dean still loves him is so confusing, but Cas can't do anything except love him right back and now he wanted to show him. Just express his love in something deeper than words, something intimate and a kiss was the best thing he could think of at the moment. It was messy and a little gross if he was being honest, but Cas couldn't help but kiss Dean as he cried and kept saying 'I love you too' over and over wanting him to hear it over and over. It was all he could do to get his point across. 

Dean made sure to kiss back, but after a bit he grabbed Cas' face and wiped his tears, "There's no need to cry any more." He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. 

Cas sniffled and nodded, but he couldn't stop crying, "I can't help it." Cas said as he rested his head back in the crook of Dean's neck softly, "I love you so much." He told Dean then sighed against his neck, "I love you." Cas repeated wanting to say it more, but he couldn't. He had talked so much today it was started to hurt, "My throat hurts." Cas said after a few moments. His tears had slowed down and he was calming down in Dean's embrace loving his warmth, his love, his presence, he didn't want to be anywhere but with Dean no matter what. 

Dean kissed his hair, "Want a glass of water, or maybe a nap?" He suggested since he must have been tired from all that crying, "I'll lay with you until you wake up, hows that sound?" He asked him as he pulled Cas up more and kissed his cheek. 

Cas sniffled and shook his head, "I'm not tired, but some water would help." Cas said closing his eyes and leaning into Dean's touch, "And a warm washcloth so I can wipe my face." Cas said his cheeks turning pink because he knew he looked gross covered in tears and possibly snot and who knows what else from crying so much. Dean was covered in his tears too and Cas felt kinda guilty for that, "Sorry, about your shirt." He said looking at the large wet spot that was his tears and then his wet neck and blushed even more. He hadn't realized how much he had cried until now. 

Dean let go of Cas and got out of bed. He looked down at his shirt and shrugged, "Oh well, it's just tears." He spoke in a soft voice then walked into the bathroom, collecting what Cas asked for then going back and laying with him. 

Cas nodded and let go of Dean so he could go though he bit his lip so he didn't whimper because he didn't want him to leave period. When he came back Cas took the warm washcloth and wiped his face with it taking care of all the tears then wiped Dean's neck softly so he didn't have tears all over him. When he was done he threw it in the corner of the room where some clothes were and then took the glass from Dean and took a drink. He downed half of it in a few gulps and when he pulled back he let out a deep breath feeling much better. He looked to Dean and offered a small smile, "Than you." He said placing the glass on the side table and snuggling up close to Dean nuzzling his cheek gently kissing him softly, "I love you." Cas said again, his voice incredibly rough and deep, but thanks to the water it didn't hurt anymore. 

Dean laid at his side, "No problem, that's what I'm here for." He told him, gently running his hands through Cas' hair, "If you want we can go out to the garden in a bit." He told him as he closed his eyes and relaxed a bit, knowing Cas was feeling better. 

Cas nodded, "Maybe." He said as he kept snuggling close to Dean nuzzling him gently, he was happy and didn't want to leave the bed, but then again he did want to go to the garden. He wanted to walk through it with Dean by his side watch the bees and relax in the soft grass. 

Dean nodded slightly, "We can do whatever you want. Even if you want to go get the babies we can do that too." He didn't mind being away from the babies for a bit, it was nice for them to have time to themselves, but then again he was starting to miss them a bit. 

Cas smiled and wrapped his legs around Dean nuzzling his neck kissing him softly, affectionately, "I miss my babies." Cas said his voice sad, "But I never finished your massage yesterday." Cas said, mischief laced into that sentence, "Could we go visit them and then perhaps continue what we started yesterday?" Cas asked as he looked up to Dean his pupils dilated slowly as leaned towards him placing a kiss on his lips full of promise and love. He wanted to play with Dean in the naughty sense, but he wanted to go see his babies, hold them close, kiss them, love them, then after he could resume his time with Dean. 

Dean kissed him back, "Of course we can." He pecked his lips again then got out of bed and put on some fresh clothes. He ran his hands through his hair then held out a hand for Cas. 

Cas smiled and grabbed Dean's hand getting out of bed with his help. He felt a little dizzy at first and held on to Dean a little tighter than he needed to until the dizziness went away. He relaxed after stood up straight giving Dean a kiss on the cheek since he was so close to him and he was happy. He was content with what he was wearing since it was just a t-shirt and some sweatpants. Cas didn't care if Gabe and Sam saw him in baggy clothing, he just cared if other demons did. 

Dean smiled at him then lead him to Gabe and Sam's room. He knocked on the door but didn't bother waiting for a reply since they were watching their kids and nothing should be happening. He was just so eager to see his babies and see if they were doing okay. 

Cas smiled as they walked in, but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw something he didn't expect or like while his children were in the room. He stood glaring at Sam and Gabe who apparently decided it was a good idea to make out. Gabe was sitting on Sam's lap, straddling him, while he ground down against him. His fingers were laced in his hair as they kissed making smacking noises soft moans. Cas couldn't do anything except look at them, give them a look he didn't use. He had picked up a particular glare of Dean, it was basically his best glare, and those who were on the tail end of receiving it usually were ripped apart by their hounds, but now he was giving the look to Gabe and Sam irate that they would think it was okay to do something like that around their babies. 

Dean frowned and stopped in the room, crossing his arms, "What the hell do you think you're doing!" You could tell he was pissed off just from his voice, "Especially since my kids are in the room!" he glared at them intensly, "Who decided this was a good idea? Probably Gabriel since he's the horniest angel in the world!" He spat, clenching his fists. 

Sam froze, but Gabriel was startled out of Sam's lap and on to the floor. He knew he was in trouble now and he tried to gracefully kneel, this time both knees to the ground and hands on the ground as well bending down so his nose is almost touching. He didn't know what to do because Dean was right about it being his idea, "I-I'm so sorry my King." Gabe said tripping over the first part of his sentence, he hoped Dean would forgive him after seeing this because Gabe never used this position except once, long ago when he really stepped in it and he knew it was the only way to show he truly meant he was sorry for what he'd done. Back then he had been forgiven, but given a small punishment compared to what he would have gotten however that was Sam, he was much more lenient than Dean and he didn't know what was going to happen, but he knew it wasn't good. 

Dean glared down at Gabe and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him to his feet and backing him into the wall, "Sorry won't fix this! You were going to have sex while my children were in the room is that is nowhere near acceptable!" He snapped, pulling him back and pushing him into the wall again. His eyes looked from Gabe's eyes to his wings then back to his eyes. Dean didn't know what else to do to punish Gabe so he grabbed a nice handful of his feathers, continuing to look him dead in the eyes. 

Cas was just watching, his rage clouding his judgement and clarity of the situation. Gabe gasped and grabbed Dean's wrists his breathing picking up, "N-No, I swear i-it wasn't like that." Gabe tried to explain, but had the wind knocked out of him and all he could do was whimper as he tried to breathe again. When Gabe saw where Dean's eyes landed his heart dropped onto his stomach, "N-No please."Gabe said his voice taking on a tone he hadn't used in over eighteen hundred years when he had his last feather pulled, but that was by Sam and he was still teaching him, now Gabe did everything he could to protect his wings, but he knew he couldn't fight back against Dean, not if he wanted to live, "Please Dean, please don't." Gabe begged his heart racing in a matter of seconds as a few tears rolled down his cheeks, he didn't try to move away, didn't try to get out, he simply begged Dean not to do this, it was all he could do. He was frantically begging, stumbling over his words, babbling, trying to beg Dean not to take his feathers. He was terrified and it showed, his entire demeanor changed. His wings were held tightly against him, well the one not being gripped by Dean, and he was panting as panic started rising in him, he didn't know what to do, he was to the point of sobbing as he begged Dean not to. 

Sam was just watching that was until he heard Gabriel's voice change and he knew exactly what was going on. He stood in a flash and was in the thick of it, "Dean Winchester, you let him go!" Sam said, his voice turning dark and his eyes turning to black. He wasn't going to take any chances, he knew Dean might still rip out the feathers, but he wasn't going to stand by and watch his lover being tortured by his brother. He expected Dean to rip out his feathers, but it would be a minor casualty as long as he didn't rip out the handful he had. He knew that was enough to render Gabe unconscious and wasn't about to let Dean do that. He didn't wait for Dean to move though, Sam was at Dean's hand prying it off Gabe's wings. He saw a few fall and knew that they were being ripped out, but he couldn't worry about that, he needed to get Dean's hand off of Gabe and save as many feathers as he could. 

Dean didn't let go of the feathers, all he did was tighten his grip. He let go of Gabe's shirt and tried pushing Sam away, keeping his grip on the handful of feathers, "He needs to be punished!" He shouted at his brother as he, continued to try to move Sam away, "My children would have been forced to watch and that's his fault! He needs to pay for that." Dean started slowly pulling on a the feathers, knowing the slower he went the more painful it would be. 

Gabe screamed now feeling his feathers being ripped out now his tears falling rapidly as he collapsed onto the ground pulling all his wings around him shaking as he screamed into one of them trying to muffle them. The babies had woken up and were screaming and crying because there was so much going on and they could sense that it was bad. Sam heard Gabe's screams and it broke something deep inside of him. He growled and flat out punched Dean, "Let him go you monster!" He screamed at Dean knowing Gabe was reaching his limit of pain and fear, not even when he was pulling his feathers centuries ago did he try to rip out a handful at a time, only a few here and there on the more sensitive spots, but Dean had grabbed at the underside of Gabe's wing, one of the most sensitive areas and wasn't letting go. 

Cas was shocked out of rage and heard his babies crying then realized Gabe was on the ground shaking while Sam and Dean were fighting. He didn't even think that he would be in danger he just ran to Dean and grabbed his face looking him in the eye, "Dean, our children need us." Cas said seriously hoping that Dean would have a paternal instinct to go look after his children. If anything it would make him loosen his grip so Sam could rip Gabe's wing from Dean's hand and then be able to take Dean on without worrying about Gabriel's feathers being ripped out. 

Dean looked at Cas, his eyes full of anger. When he heard what Cas said he felt the need to run to his children and comfort them, but he also knew he needed to get his punishment over with. His grip loosened a bit, "Let go of me, Cas. I need to finish my job." He couldn't drown out the sound of his children and hearing them crying like that hurt him. He loosened his grip a bit more, and glanced over at the babies. 

Gabe was crying and curled into a tight ball trying desperately to find something, anything to distract from the pain, but it was at the forefront of his mind and was dangerously close to overwhelming him. All he could do was hope that Sam would save him, his only form of protection, the only way for him to survive was Sam. Sam saw what Cas was doing and when he saw Dean loosen his grip he had to stop himself from ripping Gabe's wing from him right then. He had to wait and it paid off. When Dean turned away from him Sam jumped at the opportunity and snatched the wing from Dean's grip, but a few more feathers came out and lingered in Dean's hand which made Gabe scream all over again causing the babies to start screaming louder and cry harder. 

Cas had a couple tears fall down, he needed to sell it, "Please Dean, they need us." He said his voice full of emotion, he knew this would sell it. The emotion was true, but Cas didn't need to cry, it was only so he could get Dean's attention on the babies so Sam could get Gabe out of there. Cas wasn't looking, but he could hear Gabe crying and screaming, he couldn't imagine the kind of pain he was in. The only thing he could do was try and get Dean's attention on the babies so he wouldn't fight with Sam, literally. 

When Dean saw Cas crying he let go of Gabe right away. He couldn't stand knowing Cas and the babies were crying. He shoved past Cas and picked up Mary, holding her close and rubbing her back, "Shh, Mary im here." He spoke in a soft voice. It was surprising how not even five minutes ago his voice was full of anger and hate, but now that he was with his little girl everything changed. 

As soon as Dean walked to Mary Cas looked to Sam and mouthed 'Go' before he walked over to pick up little Sammy. He walked over to Dean after and leaned against him gently as he rocked the little baby boy cooing softly to him now trying to stop his tears, but it was difficult because they were caused by true emotion. 

Sam saw Cas and didn't think twice he gathered the crying angel in his arms and walked out of the room quietly, slowly, so as not to draw attention from Dean. When He was out he picked up the pace going straight to his room, Gabriel's safe haven. He knew the only way to calm Gabriel down and started with baring themselves in this room so he knew he was safe from the one who hurt him. 

Dean was trying to calm Mary down, gently rocking her and cooing softly. Hours later Dean and Cas the babies had finally calmed down after a long while of soft cooing and bouncing. Once they had calmed down Mary just clung to Dean's shirt and stayed cuddled close to him. Dean leaned down and kissed her head, "I'm sorry, Mary. Daddy didn't mean to scare you or Sammy, he was just angry." He told his little girl then looked up at Cas and smiled sheepishly. 

Cas smiled softly and leaned in to kiss Dean's cheek, "It's okay baby." Cas said softly as he continued to rock Sammy gently, he was still fussing a little, but had stopped crying. Cas gently rocked him and said soothing things as he slowly stopped fussing and just clutched Cas' shirt falling asleep. Cas smiled and looked to Dean, "I don't think they hold it against you." Cas said softly, "But I think Gabe might." He said looking at Dean softly, "I know you didn't mean to hurt him, but he's gonna be scared of you now." Cas said softly holding Sammy with one arm and reaching his other to cup Dean's cheek, "But don't worry," He said with a smile, "I know you can make this better, just give it time." He said softly, "And patience." He added then leaned in and kissed Dean gently, but before he could connect his lips Sammy put his hands in between them and they ended up kissing his tiny hand. 

Dean nodded, he knew Gabe would be afraid but he would slowly get his trust back. He chuckled feeling Sam's little hand and leaned back, "Looks like someone doesn't want his daddies kissing." Sean teased then leaned forward to kiss Xas' cheek. He held mary in one arm and gently ran his hand over Sams head, pushing back the little bit of hair he had, "You're so silly Sammy." He told him with a soft chuckle. 

Cas smiled and looked down at Sammy then Mary, he realized in this moment that everything he'd been through, all the pain, all the torture, all the betrayal. It was all worth it, and he would gladly go through it again if it meant he would have Dean as his husband with two beautiful healthy babies and two of the weirdest and possibly deadliest in laws in the history of the world. He would never trade this life for anything and he would never regret the choice of falling fatally in love with Dean. He was happy, something he had never been on earth. The irony made him smile. He went from being a priest, a man of God who believed in superstition to being the mate of one of the two most powerful beings in all of existence, minus the archangels. That will definitely be a story to tell the children when they get older. Cas smiled at them. They would be big and strong, just like their fathers.


End file.
